gamesandtings

_{Go back to sleep, Bruv}!

With Alan Wake 2 release and its positive reaction from critics, I decided to do the most un-Efe like thing I could – resist buying it and finishing its predecessor.

So Alan Wake – released in 2010, a cult classic that’s sort of stuck in the back of mind as something worth playing. We follow Mikel Arteta and his attempt to find his wife, and her feet, after she was pulled into the depths of a lake in amongst America’s natural beauty. There’s some extra stuff about him being a writer and that he’s writing the story you’re playing in but to be honest, I don’t read on the best of days, so I’m for sure not reading what Alan has to fugging say. You know those TikTok videos where an artist draws an object over varying timespans. Imagine a 10 second version of Silent Hill 2.

The game’s central gaming mechanic relies on Alan using his torch to disorient and weaken its enemies in order to shoot them repeatedly. At its best, you’re consciously crowd controlling, dodging, using your torch and batteries efficiently, maximising damage – all corporate speak for what is really just digital plate spinning.

Here’s the issue – it doesn’t really play with that central mechanic. It’s locked in early. Some upgrades exist, be it more robust torches or a variation of some of the guns. Even then, its sparse.

There’s no sense of progress, improvement or growth in the game. It’s Sisyphean gaming – problem being that whilst I may be tragic, I certainly ain’t fugging Greek.

Apparently, this originally was aimed as an open world game, the vehicle sections were to serve a bigger world. It feels like it was designed by someone that got their driver’s license from Scalextric. The Honourable Ellie Gibson perfectly described the engine noise like a “bear having a wank”; I’ve not figured if she means the ones that frequent the woods or the darkest corners of Hampstead Heath but both would work.

There’s just not enough here to want to replay it for me. Walking around the same looking wooded areas, encounters telegraphed then announced puncture any sense of exploration or effective world building.

All that to say – it’s unmemorable. I remember enjoying the mini, gamified version American Nightmare way, way, way more.

5 Thermos Flask out of 10.